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Windows 98 Source Code

The code that makes Windows 98 tik.. ;)

Inputs
Any Intel PC

Assumes
Think before you install this.. ;)

Returns
Lots of junk

Side Effects
Plenty

API Declarations



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(13(13 Vote))

/*
               TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code 
               Project: Chicago(tm)
               Projected release-date: Summer 1994 
               */
 
               #include "win31.h"
               #include "win95.h"
               #include "evenmore.h"
               #include "oldstuff.h"
               #include "billrulz.h"
               #define INSTALL = HARD
 
               char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; 
 
               void main()
               {
               while(!CRASHED)
               {
               display_copyright_message(); 
               display_bill_rules_message(); 
               do_nothing_loop();
 
               if (first_time_installation) 
               {
               make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); 
               do_nothing_loop();
               totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system(); 
               search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); 
               hang_system();
               }
 
               write_something(anything); 
               display_copyright_message(); 
               do_nothing_loop();
               do_some_stuff();
 
               if (still_not_crashed) 
               {
               display_copyright_message(); 
               do_nothing_loop();
               basically_run_windows_3.1(); 
               do_nothing_loop();
               do_nothing_loop(); 
               }
               }
 
               if (detect_cache())
               disable_cache();
 
               if (fast_cpu())
               {
               set_wait_states(lots);
               set_mouse(speed, very_slow); 
               set_mouse(action, jumpy);
               set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); 
               }
 
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */ 
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ 
 
               printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); 
 
               if (system_ok())
               crash(to_dos_prompt);
               else
               system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); 
 
               while(something)
               {
               sleep(5);
               get_user_input(); 
               sleep(5);
               act_on_user_input(); 
               sleep(5);
               }
 
               create_general_protection_fault();